LEVELS OF ACQUAINTANCE

We walk through the mall, go to church or work, attend a sports event – and we see a lot of people, most of whom we don’t know. Then, we spot someone we do know and immediately feel the tie that we share. That tie is acquaintance.

When we meet someone for the first time, we may say, “Pleased to make your acquaintance.” This is the first level – the initial meeting. We can’t help but to immediately analyze the other person in our minds. Their appearance, the way they talk, what they say, how much they speak or listen all contribute to our first impression. And as we’ve all heard, one doesn’t get a second chance to make a first impression.

This is not to say we should always be trying to impress all those with whom we come into contact. It’s much better to simply be yourself because your true self will always eventually be revealed. It’s much too stressful always trying to be who you really aren’t. So have confidence in who you are by remembering that God has made you this way, and so you are exactly whom you are meant to be.

We either like our new acquaintance, dislike them, or remain neutral. If we like them, we’ll continue to have a conversation and find common ground. We may have similar likes and share friends or interests. This enhances the tie and moves to the second level. We’d like to see them again and continue the discussion.

The third level happens when we do see them again and we pick up where we left off. Then we make promises to set aside a time to meet again for food or going to an event or sharing an activity. The future plans won’t happen immediately, but both parties depart knowing they want to do something together. This level can happen several times before something is actually done.

The fourth level is crucial to the tie. When we participate in any activity and spend additional time together, we form a more permanent and lasing opinion of one another. We think either, “Okay, this is enjoyable and positive,” or “No, this won’t work after all.”

If it’s the latter, we may or may not ever see one another again. If it’s the former it could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship!

From this time on, regardless of how frequently we see each other, the tie is there. The friendship has been formed and our friend becomes the familiar face in a crowd of strangers.

COPYRIGHT 2018 BY CARL E GUSTAFSON