LEVELS OF ACQUAINTANCE

We walk through the mall, go to church or work, attend a sports event – and we see a lot of people, most of whom we don’t know. Then, we spot someone we do know and immediately feel the tie that we share. That tie is acquaintance.

When we meet someone for the first time, we may say, “Pleased to make your acquaintance.” This is the first level – the initial meeting. We can’t help but to immediately analyze the other person in our minds. Their appearance, the way they talk, what they say, how much they speak or listen all contribute to our first impression. And as we’ve all heard, one doesn’t get a second chance to make a first impression.

This is not to say we should always be trying to impress all those with whom we come into contact. It’s much better to simply be yourself because your true self will always eventually be revealed. It’s much too stressful always trying to be who you really aren’t. So have confidence in who you are by remembering that God has made you this way, and so you are exactly whom you are meant to be.

We either like our new acquaintance, dislike them, or remain neutral. If we like them, we’ll continue to have a conversation and find common ground. We may have similar likes and share friends or interests. This enhances the tie and moves to the second level. We’d like to see them again and continue the discussion.

The third level happens when we do see them again and we pick up where we left off. Then we make promises to set aside a time to meet again for food or going to an event or sharing an activity. The future plans won’t happen immediately, but both parties depart knowing they want to do something together. This level can happen several times before something is actually done.

The fourth level is crucial to the tie. When we participate in any activity and spend additional time together, we form a more permanent and lasing opinion of one another. We think either, “Okay, this is enjoyable and positive,” or “No, this won’t work after all.”

If it’s the latter, we may or may not ever see one another again. If it’s the former it could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship!

From this time on, regardless of how frequently we see each other, the tie is there. The friendship has been formed and our friend becomes the familiar face in a crowd of strangers.

COPYRIGHT 2018 BY CARL E GUSTAFSON

LAST CENTURY ARRESTS WOULD FILL OUR JAILS

In July of 1918, The REVIEW listed the arrests for that month. In addition to Assault and Battery, which is a current crime, others were charges for some actions that seem to be overlooked today.

Intoxication, seditious utterances, being a slacker, and being a loafer were justifiable reasons for police action against the perpetrators. It seems foreign to us now to think that these abuses were reason for arrest. It was during World War I, actually about three months before it ended, but it still seems a bit extreme.

We see on the news daily all the slackers and loafers in some of the big cities, especially in San Francisco, for example. But they aren’t arrested or even warned by police to stop slacking or loafing.

And what about seditious utterances? Some people utter more sedition today than was heard one hundred years ago. Facebook and Twitter are full of such unpatriotic statements. But nobody goes to jail for this now.

One online definition of sedition is “conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state or monarch. Synonyms are rabble-rousing, incitement to rebel, subversion, troublemaking, provocation.” Sedition is short of Treason, however. Wow, this sounds like the recent speeches of too many politicians.

The Bible encourages the opposite of sedition in Titus 3:1-2 where it reminds us “to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for all men.”

Not every criticism is sedition, of course. In the USA we have freedom of speech and we may praise or criticize anyone, whether they hold a public office or not. But it’s important to maintain a level of civility that seems to be lacking in some people. The adage, “If you can’t say something nice about a person, don’t say anything at all” seems to be long forgotten.

And of course the Bible sets a high standard for speech in other verses.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.”

And in the book of the Bible that contains so much wisdom, Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the taste and good for your health.”

Think of how nice it would be if only helpful and kind words were used in all of our communications.

COPYRIGHT 2018 BY CARL E GUSTAFSON