GOLF

USEFUL, SENSIBLE GOLF (USG) RULES

FOR RECREATIONAL GOLFERS

·        Have fun. Golf only with other players who have fun golfing.

·         Get closer to the pin on each consecutive shot.

·         Be safe. Don’t swing around others; don’t hit into groups you’re following. Yell “Fore!”

·         Put an I.D. mark on your ball. Keep a permanent marker in your bag for this.

·         Keep play moving along. Don’t spend too much time lining up a putt.

·         Carry a ball marker for your ball on the green, and an extra ball in your pocket.

·         Spend no more than three minutes looking for a lost ball. It was five.

·         Let faster players and groups play through, if there is space ahead.

·         Repair ball and spike marks on the green; rake the sand trap; replace         divots.

·         Be quiet; don’t disturb other golfers on the course; don't play music.

·         Tend the flag for another when requested.

·         Don’t step in a putter’s line – it may make a depression that causes more veering than usual.

·         Don’t ground your club in the bunker.

·         Give proper advice to other players, but only if they ask for it.

·         Follow any special local rules of the course on which you are playing.

·         Read the USGA “Rules of Golf” – but realize 90% of them are for competition.

Recreational golfers golf for fun, so make each round enjoyable.

Decide the type of play – individual or teams or scramble format.

Use winter rules to enhance the play, or use:

         CARL’S KINDER, GENTLER GOLF RULES FOR                                      RECREATIONAL SCRAMBLES

·        Decide how many mulligans [no limit] will be allowed on each nine for each player.

·        Always carry an extra ball in your pocket for a quick mulligan hit.

·        Decide if “do-overs” are allowable if a ball is shanked or doesn’t go far.

·        No penalty strokes are to be applied except for out of bounds.

·        If a ball goes out of bounds, you may repeat the shot or take the next shot closest to where the ball went out of bounds, adding a stroke to the score unless it’s agreed that a bad shot should not affect the score.

·        Fairway option – if nobody lands in the fairway, all players tee off again, or if the ball lands in the rough, simply move it parallel onto the fairway no closer to the green.

R  Richard's Rule: On a par 5 you may use a tee on your second shot in the fairway.

·        Green option – if nobody lands on the green, all players hit again until somebody does land on the green.

·        Birdie/Par option – If a birdie or par putt is missed, all players putt again until the birdie or par is made. [Sometimes it takes several putts to get a birdie]

·        Optional exceptions – use previous options only if no players are behind you.

·        Scramble play – use the ball in the best position for all players to hit from –within two club lengths; or move out from behind bushes or trees or other blockages.

·        The player whose ball position is being used is the last one to hit or putt.

·        Place the ball in a good position for a clean hit on the fairway or in the rough.

·        If the ball is in the sand move it onto grass. The sand is only there because climate change has probably dried out that area and it needs to be repaired, so it’s like “ground under repair.”

·         Agree on any other kinder, gentler rules that will make the round more fun.

COPYRIGHT 2020 BY CARL E GUSTAFSON


HOW DID THEY MEASURE HAILSTONES BEFORE GOLF BALLS WERE INVENTED?

Show me someone who's a good loser

and I'll bet he's playing golf with his boss.


GOLF BALL POEM 

 
In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White and Dimpled, Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,   
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
 
By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
 
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
 
It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,
I Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.
 
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
 
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
 
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
 
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows - I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

EMAIL FROM MIKE WISE

ARE WE GOLFERS, OR ARE WE LOAFERS?

DO WIND AND HAIL SPOIL OUR GAME?

IT’S FUNNER WITH A CHANCE OF FUNNELS,

HILARIOUS IN A HURRICANE,

WE NEVER SAY NO, EVEN IN SNOW,

AND WHAT DO WE GAIN, AFRAID OF THE RAIN?

WHO CAN’T SCORE WHEN THE SUN SHINES MORE,

IT’S EASY TO SEE THE BALL FLY,

A DRIVE OR A PITCH, NO MATTER WHICH,

IS A CINCH WHEN THE AIR IS DRY,

SO HERE WE ARE, THE WEATHER IS BAD,

BUT ARE WE DOWN OR SAD?

NO, WE’RE TEEING OFF, AT THE COURSE TODAY,

IT COULD BE AUGUST, JUNE, OR MAY,

WE MAY BE CRAZY, SENILE, OR MAD,

BUT WE ARE GOLFING, AND WE ARE GLAD!

COPYRIGHT 2018 BY CARL E GUSTAFSON

WHY DO WE GOLF?

WHY DO WE GOLF?

WHY ALL THE PRESSURE?

TRYING TO GET A SCORE THAT IS LESSER?

WE HIT THE BALL STRAIGHT,

HIT AGAIN, AND WE WAIT,

TO SEE IF IT GOES IN THE WATER.

WE WATCH THE PROS DO IT,

THEY’RE NEVER ERRATIC,

BUT WHEN WE SINK A LONG PUT WE’RE ECSTATIC!

AT LEAST ONCE A ROUND,

A GOOD SHOT IS FOUND,

AND WE KNOW WE’LL GET BETTER IN TIME.

SO WE PLAN TO RETURN,

WITH OUR BUDDIES WHO’VE LEARNED,

THAT REGARDLESS OF SCORE,

THERE’S ENJOYMENT IN STORE,

AS WE PLAY EIGHTEEN HOLES ONCE MORE! 

Copyright 2009 by Carl E. Gustafson

One advantage of bowling over golf is that it's not likely you will lose a bowling ball.